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date a boy who wears shoes that light up
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OK NO BUT WHEN I WENT TO PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, THERE WAS A DUDE WHO HAD LEGIT LIGHT UP SNEAKERS AND THIS GIRL WENT UP TO HIM AND ASKED HIM OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HIS SHOES WERE THE COOLEST GOD DAMN THING AND THEY WENT TO PROM TOGETHER AND THEY HAVEN’T BROKEN UP FOR 3 YEARS NOW ALL BECAUSE OF THIS KID’S GOD DAMN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS
Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
- Acquire several dozen limes.
- Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
- Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
- Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
- Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
- Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
- Marry them.
SO TODAY IN ART CLASS OUR TEACHER TOOK US TOT HE COMPUTER LAB TO RESEARCH MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES FOR THE NEXT PROJECT AND I LOOKED UP ONE AND IT HAD TENTACLES SO ON THE FIRST BIT OF THE GOOGLE SEARCH RESULTS CAME UP SOME HARDCORE HENTAI SO I TOLD THE TEACHER TO TELL PEOPLE TO NOT SEARCH IT UP THEN MY FRIEND NEXT TO ME THOUGHT I WAS LYING SO SHE LOOKED IT UP IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER
wouldnt it be fucking scary if you had a clock that counted down until the moment you die. like what if it could be altered too like one day it says 70 years left but then you do something and it says 10 minutes left and youre like what the fuck i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up
what if you got on a plane and then as soon as it took off everybodys clock changed to 20 minutes
this is the shit that fucks you up
Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME
I think people should know that in the end he called back and talked to the manager and it turned out another guy with his area code had been harassing the girl all night and she was extraordinarily sorry.
you wake up and it’s wednesday- supernatural season gr8 finale day! needless to say, you’re excited as fuck. you sit up in bed and check the time on your phone. but wait. for the date it says, “tuesday may 14th” except today is wednesday. how weird. it must be your phone bugging up or something. you climb out of bed and you’re walking out of your room when off in the distance, you hear it.
it’s the heat of the moment~
WHY AM I ACTUALLY UNSETTLED
what if I pretend to be British for like the first 6 months at college only around my roommate and I wake her up every morning at like 6 am and say like “up up darling it’s time for your tea the birds are singing a spoon full of medicine makes the medicine go down” and then we get back from winter break and switch back to normal and pretend she made the whole thing up until she loses her mind that would be fun
relax Satan
in seventh grade my girlfriend wrote me a note to break up with me and i acted like i didnt find it and acted completely normal all day and sat with her at lunch and then at the end of the day i broke up with her in front of our whole math class and she said I BROKE UP WITH YOU FIRST and i said wow thats pathetic and nobody believes that and she cried and i watched gay porn in 7th grade anyway so the joke is double on her
oh my god
one time in grade six i went with my boyfriend to his school dance and when the song low came on i saw him across the gym grinding with a grade five and i got so mad that when single ladies played i stuck my hands up in the air and looked him right in the eyes when beyoncé asked all the single ladies to put their hands up and that’s how i broke up with my first boyfriend
Chewbacca has been around since Anakin turned to the Dark Side. Chewbacca has literally witnessed the whole Skywalker family fucking up the galaxy. When Ben was born, Chewbacca was probably just like :-)) can’t wait to see how this one fucks up
No wonder he’s always screaming
thenerdyemo